You are not alone!!!
..and really enjoys it. I don’t work because I have to make money. I work because I like working. I don’t have a lot of guilt over the fact that I work or over the fact that my daughter goes to daycare. I know my daughter is loved and well taken care of during the day, and I make the most of the…
Money Saving Mom wrote this lovely article on 15 things to do each morning to make your day more successful I read it, shook my head and flipped off the computer. I though wow money saving mom had an opportunity to really help ME who is totally struggling to stay afloat but is drowning in exhaustion and filth and she wants me to make my bed and have some quiet moments to relax. I should have stopped at #2 and realized this article wasn’t written for me but I’ll move on.
Here is my normal schedule:
Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday wake up, get ready while husband helps get baby dressed and fed, gather daycare bag, my bags and take baby to daycare, come home, clean puppy mess, put baby for short nap, take dog out, cook dinner, husband gets home, baby wakes, eat dinner, dad and baby play for 30-45 minutes while I clean up and do dishes, take dog out, shower while baby gets a bath, put baby to sleep, get a half hour to an hour with the husband where I pray I don’t fall asleep, then off to bed. On these evenings I also have to clean out/repack the daycare bag, wash bottles/nipples, prep next days bottles/lunch, pack my lunch. My husband has really helped me so much to be able to accomplish what I can on these days but I kid you not it is non stop rush all day.
Wednesday - same as the first but I get to play with the baby between his naps and clean up what I can while he sleeps. I HAVE to do laundry and grocery shop on this day as well. I work from home so in between all of this I am answering calls forwarded from the office.
Friday - work half day, come home, lunch for everyone, run errands, take dog out, put baby for nap, clean and organize, start dinner, baby wakes, feed baby, play, take dog out, baby naps, finish dinner, husband gets home, baby wakes, eat dinner, dad and baby play for 30-45 minutes while I clean up and do dishes, take dog out, shower while baby gets a bath, put baby to sleep, get a half hour to an hour with the husband, then off to bed.
Weekends - in between spending time with my husband, my son, taking our puppy out, meals, more laundry and grocery shopping, spending some time with friends and/or family, my husband and I have to find time to vacuum, sweep, mop, and clean our 3 bed/2.5 bath home.
Again I repeat, I’m drowning and could have used some advice on how to be more successful with my day that didn’t involve taking a moment to do some quite breathing. I barely have time for loud breath. Shit I am lucky I am breathing at all.
I just listened to my mom because I thought ‘she’s raised 3 kids, she must know what’s she’s saying’. This is what she told me to do:
Bath right before ‘feed time’
Let everyone hold him, even if I was uncomfortable,
Just generally going against my maternal instincts.
Once he was about 2 months old I stopped listening to her. She was upset, but I knew when he was hungry. I started feeding on demand, bathing when he was happy, and just doing what I felt he needed. I didn’t warm up to the idea of a pacifier before it was too late and he refused them though. So now he screams in the car all the time.
New mommies, listen to your instincts!!! Just because someone has raised kids doesn’t mean they know everything. What worked for them may not work for you. I really wish someone told me that before.
As women we are often told to follow our instincts. Then its seems like your whole life that is completely contradicted when others come along and cloud your mind. Example trust your instincts but person xyz is safe they are family/friend. Trust your instincts but be careful of xyz. Trust your instincts but you should do it this way. You see where I’m going.
When it comes to parenting I have had so many give me unsolicited advice. I am very headstrong and I know most people mean well but could not keep from being annoyed by the constant comments and recommendations. I wanted to follow my instincts from day one. I figured I spent 9.5 months nurturing this child from the inside, no one knows my child better than me. Its enough that we second guess ourselves as mothers that we shouldn’t have to fight with others on how we are doing things. If you are open to advice or want help that is a whole other story. I’m talking about the critiques and criticisms and ‘the you should try this’ or ‘you should do this’.
I had to remind myself and others that I loved them, I know they meant well but this is what I’m doing, this is what my family is about, and the decisions are made are made with my husband and I following what we feel works for us whatever that may be. As Ms Noxeema said ”Your approval is neither required or desired’.
Here is a Georgia State Trooper in riot gear at a KKK protest in a north Georgia city back in the 80s. The Trooper is black. Standing in front of him and touching his shield is a curious little boy dressed in a Klan hood and robe. I have stared at this picture and wondered what must have been going through that Trooper’s mind. Before the Trooper is an innocent child who is being taught to hate him because of the color of his skin. The child doesn’t understand what he is being taught, and at this point he doesn’t seem to care. Like any other child his curiosity takes hold and he wants to explore this new thing that this man is holding probably because he can see his reflection in it and that’s a neat thing and he wants to check it out. In this picture I see innocence mixed with hate, the irony of a black man protecting the right of white people to assemble in protest against him, temperance in the face of ignorance, and hope that racism can be broken because this young boy may remember that a black man smiled at him once and he didn’t seem so bad after all.
Wow pretty powerful